Going back to school is hard. It’s a time-consuming commitment, with the hours spent researching an assignment, then doing that assignment. It costs a good amount of money of your budget—there was a time there when my savings stash started to dwindle because of the hours I had to take off of work to commute to campus and attend class.
While I don’t regret the break I took from college, I’ll admit I sometimes wonder why I went back, especially when I work several jobs. Between the newspaper, the family ranch, and other small gigs on the side for some extra bucks, I feel spread pretty thin.
Do I have time for this? Will it really pay off in the end? And the big one (for me, anyway): Did I choose the right major? Is this really what I want to learn how to do? Why don’t I study something practical, like plumbing? People need plumbers.
I won’t lie. My job at the newspaper has had me questioning my choice to pursue writing a lot recently. Even though I’ve only done a couple stories in the past month, it’s more writing I’ve ever published in my entire career, and I’m starting to feel the pressure. I’m slowly changing from the starry-eyed book worm in love with words to a tired reporter churning out stories as quickly as possible. Pair that with my fear of talking to strangers, and you get a nervous-wreck Bex.
I’ve also had a job transition at work to also do the “production” side, which I’m excited for because I think it will be useful information to know should I decide to self-publish some of my work, like my children’s book. I also have to do my old duties from my previous job at the paper, though, until someone else is hired. How long will that be?
Then on top of all that, I have to do my homework. This last term with SNHU hasn’t been easy—honestly, none of the classes have been easy—but it’s also been so rewarding. I love my classes this term. Love them. And they are ending in two weeks, and my heart is breaking.
I’ve also written one of the most challenging pieces I’ve ever done, mostly because I really had to dig deep for details for a story that is very dear to my heart. It’s a personal essay about losing my great-aunt, whom I was very close to, to Alzheimer’s. I’ve called it P-U-R-P-L-E.
It’s not hard to talk about Aunt Pat. She was a great lady, and I have many good memories of her. They are now paired with very painful memories, though, and losing her hurt many hearts in my family. I poured my hurting heart into this story, and that was an emotional strain on my already work-stressed self.
Today, when checking up on grades and what is due this upcoming week, my teacher left a note saying that my personal essay is very, very worthy of publication. She even used my work amongst others as an example of good work, sharing that if other students wanted to see good characterization to see my piece.
Those are moments that remind me that I made the right choice, that this is what I’m good at, no matter how hard it is sometimes. I made the right choice. This challenge will lead me to be a published author, because my writing is worthy of publication.
I think we all need to be reminded of that sometimes. So, if you’re an amateur writer struggling like me, or if you’re an experienced writer whose been through these struggles who can offer advice, contact me! I’d love to offer you some words of encouragement, and I’d appreciate you had some to share with me. Sometimes it’s just good to chat with other writers who know what you’re going through. I’m here for you. Your writing is worthy of publication, so don’t give up!